Starting Over With Money After Divorce

You Can Start Again and Thrive

Life has a way of knocking us sideways. Whether it’s divorce, job loss, or burnout, suddenly finding yourself responsible for managing finances that you’ve never handled before can feel overwhelming. If that’s you right now, take a breath. You are not alone, and you are certainly not behind.

Many women (and men too) find themselves in exactly this position. Perhaps during your marriage, finances weren’t “your thing” the bills, investments, and financial decisions were handled by someone else. Or maybe work stress became so consuming that you lost track of your financial wellbeing entirely. Whatever brought you here, what matters now is that you’re taking the first step toward reclaiming control of your financial future.

But the financial challenges go deeper than just immediate income loss. One in seven women in the UK has experienced economic abuse by a current or former partner in the past 12 months, and 95% of cases of domestic abuse involve economic abuse. This type of control often leaves women without the financial knowledge or confidence they need when they suddenly find themselves managing money independently.

The good news? Starting over doesn’t mean starting from scratch. It means starting from experience and that experience has most likely taught you more than you realise.

Where to Start: Your Financial Recovery Roadmap

Step One: Take Complete Stock

Before you can move forward, you need to know exactly where you stand. This means:

• List all income sources: salary, benefits, maintenance payments, Universal Credit, any side income
• Map out all expenses: fixed costs (rent/mortgage, utilities, insurance, childcare) and variable costs (food, transport, subscriptions)
• Identify assets and debts: savings, pensions, investments, and any debts that are yours to manage
• Gather important documents: bank statements, insurance policies, benefit letters, court orders

If this feels overwhelming because someone else always handled these things, that’s completely normal. Take it one document at a time, and don’t hesitate to ask for help from friends, family, or professionals.

Step Two: Build a Realistic Budget That Actually Works

A budget isn’t a punishment — it’s a plan that puts you back in the driver’s seat. Start with the essentials:

Step Three: Become a Deal Hunting Detective

You’d be amazed at how much money you can save by simply asking for better deals:

Utilities: Use comparison websites like Uswitch or MoneySuperMarket to check if you’re on the best tariff. Many providers also offer social tariffs for people on low incomes, it always worth asking about.

Subscriptions: Audit everything you pay monthly. Netflix, Spotify, gym memberships, insurance. Cancel what you don’t use and downgrade what you can live with less of.

Insurance and financial products: Shop around annually. Loyalty doesn’t pay when it comes to insurance, broadband, or mobile contracts.

Groceries: Plan meals, use loyalty cards, shop at discount supermarkets, and consider own-brand alternatives.

Step Four: Navigate Childcare Costs Strategically

Childcare can feel like having another mortgage, but there are ways to make it more manageable:

• Check your entitlements: 30 hours free childcare for 3-4 year olds, 15 hours for 2-year-olds from eligible families
• Tax-Free Childcare scheme: Get up to £500 every three months to help with childcare costs
• Universal Credit: May cover up to 85% of your childcare costs
• After-school and holiday clubs: Often more affordable than private childcare
• Informal networks: Share pickup duties with other parents, family help, or community groups

Step Five: Know Your Rights and Entitlements

Don’t leave money on the table that’s rightfully yours:

After divorce: You may be entitled to spousal maintenance, child maintenance, pension sharing, or a portion of assets. If financial abuse was involved, this might need special consideration in your settlement.

After job loss: Check your entitlement to redundancy pay, Jobseeker’s Allowance, Universal Credit, or New Style ESA if health issues are involved.

With burnout: You may have rights to sick pay, flexible working arrangements, or occupational health support that could ease your financial pressure while you recover.

Step Six: Create Additional Income Streams

Even small amounts of extra income can provide breathing room and boost confidence:

• Use skills you already have for freelance work
• Consider part-time work that fits around other commitments
• Sell items you no longer need
• Look into legitimate flexible work opportunities
• Explore retraining opportunities (some may be funded through government schemes)

Step Seven: Don’t Forget Future You

When money is tight, it’s tempting to focus only on today. But even small steps toward long-term security matter:

• Pensions: Find out what pension rights you have and ensure any divorce settlement considers future pension needs
• Emergency fund: Even £5 a week adds up to £260 a year
• Insurance: Review what you need (life insurance, income protection), based on your new circumstances

The Hidden Impact of Financial Control

I need to address something that many people don’t talk about openly: financial abuse. Research shows that one in six women in the UK has experienced financial abuse in a current or former relationship, affecting over 9 million people.

Financial abuse can look like:

• Being prevented from accessing bank accounts
• Having spending monitored or controlled
• Being prevented from working
• Having credit ruined by a partner
• Being kept in the dark about family finances

If this sounds familiar, you’re not imagining it, and it’s not your fault. The silver lining? Learning to manage your finances independently is one of the most powerful ways to reclaim your autonomy. Every budget you create, every bill you pay, every decision you make about money is you taking back control.

What This Journey Looks Like in Practice

Financial recovery doesn’t happen overnight, and that’s okay. Here’s a realistic timeline:

Months 6-12+: Growth

• Increase income through better employment or additional work
• Build larger emergency fund
• Start longer-term financial planning
• Address pension and retirement planning
• Consider homeownership or other financial goals

Remember, everyone’s journey is different. Progress, not perfection, is what we’re aiming for.

Small Changes That Make a Big Difference

Sometimes it’s the little things that add up to create breathing room:

• Cancel forgotten subscriptions – that gym membership you never use, streaming services you don’t watch
• Use price comparison sites for everything from insurance to energy suppliers
• Plan your meals to reduce food waste and impulse purchases
• Use cashback apps and loyalty schemes for purchases you’re making anyway
• Take advantage of free resources – libraries, community centers, free activities for children

Why Working with a Financial Coach Changes Everything

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by all of this (which is completely understandable), working with a financial coach can accelerate your progress and provide the support you need. A good financial coach will help you:

Create a personalised plan: Not a generic budget template, but a financial plan that fits your actual life, values, and goals.

Build financial confidence: Learn to make money decisions with confidence rather than fear or confusion.

Stay accountable: Having someone to check in with keeps you motivated and on track.

Navigate complex situations: Whether it’s divorce settlements, benefit claims, or investment decisions, a coach can guide you through the complexities.

Provide emotional support: Money is emotional, especially when you’re starting over. A coach understands this and provides both practical and emotional support.

Translate financial jargon: Everything explained in plain English, no intimidating terminology.

As a financial coach, I work with women and men every day who are rebuilding their financial lives. I’ve seen firsthand the transformation that happens when someone moves from feeling overwhelmed and out of control to feeling confident and empowered about their money.

The coaching process typically involves:

• Discovery session: Understanding your situation, goals, and challenges
• Financial audit: Working together to map out your complete financial picture
• Action planning: Creating a step-by-step plan tailored to your circumstances
• Regular check-ins: Ongoing support, accountability, and plan adjustments as needed
• Skill building: Learning the financial management skills you need for long-term success

You Have Everything You Need to Succeed

Here’s what I want you to know: you already have everything you need to rebuild your financial life. You have intelligence, resilience, and the motivation to create something better. What you might lack is knowledge or confidence and both of those can be learned.

Every time you:

• Check your bank balance instead of avoiding it
• Ask a question about something you don’t understand
• Cancel a subscription you don’t need
• Put £5 into a savings account
• Choose the own-brand option to save money
• Research a better energy deal

…you’re building financial strength and taking back control.

The journey won’t always be linear. Some days you’ll feel confident and on top of things. Other days, the overwhelm might creep back in. Both are completely normal parts of the process.

Your Next Steps

If you’re ready to take control of your financial future but want support along the way, I’m here to help. Financial coaching isn’t about judgment or complex investment strategies it’s about meeting you where you are and helping you build the skills and confidence you need to thrive.

Together, we can:

• Create a budget that actually works for your life
• Find ways to increase your income and reduce your expenses
• Plan for your financial future with confidence
• Build your financial literacy in bite-sized, manageable pieces
• Address the emotional aspects of money management
• Develop the skills you need to maintain your financial independence long-term

Ready to get started? I offer a Free Initial Consultation where we can discuss your situation and explore how coaching might help you. There’s no pressure, just an honest conversation about where you are and where you want to be.

Final Thoughts: You Can Do This

Rebuilding your financial life after divorce, job loss, or burnout isn’t just about numbers on a spreadsheet. It’s about reclaiming your independence, building confidence, and creating security for yourself and your family.

You might feel like you’re starting from behind, but you’re not. You’re starting from a place of experience, wisdom, and determination. That’s a powerful foundation to build on.

The path ahead might feel uncertain, but every step you take towards financial independence is a step towards freedom. You don’t have to do this alone, and you don’t have to figure everything out at once.

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Ready to take the next step? Book a Free Initial Consultation to discuss how financial coaching can help you build the confident, secure financial future you deserve. You can also visit www.mannafinancial.co.uk to get started.

References

1. Legal & General (2024). “The Divorce Gender Gap: Women See Household Income Fall by 41% vs 21% for Men.” Legal & General Group Research.
2. Surviving Economic Abuse (2024). “The Unseen #WealthGap: How economic abuse creates inequality.” National Survey Report.
3. Women’s Aid (2023). “Economic Abuse Statistics.” Available at: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/economic-abuse/
4. GOV.UK (2024). “30 hours free childcare.” Available at: https://www.gov.uk/30-hours-free-childcare
5. GOV.UK (2024). “Help paying for childcare.” Available at: https://www.gov.uk/help-with-childcare-costs
6. Citizens Advice (2024). “Financial abuse and domestic violence.” Available at: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/about-us/our-work/policy/policy-research-topics/debt-and-money-policy-research/financial-abuse-and-domestic-violence/
7. Money and Pensions Service (2024). “Budgeting and managing your money.” Available at: https://www.moneyandpensionsservice.org.uk/en/everyday-money/budgeting
8. Refuge (2024). “Economic Abuse.” Available at: https://www.refuge.org.uk/our-work/forms-of-violence-and-abuse/economic-abuse/